Ruby Rain

Ruby Rain was born on Christmas Eve 2004.  She was strong in my belly and I knew she was full of spirit from the very beginning.  I knew I'd have a girl.  Women are plentiful in my family.  What I didn't expect was that part of me would be reborn along with her.  As soon as I was pregnant I got my girly-girl back I always say.  I thought it was gone for good being a full-time trail worker at that point in life and not finding time to care about girly things much anymore.  It was as if Ruby brought it along with her when she came through me.  I suddenly wanted everything pink and started painting my toenails again.  I began embracing the most womanly part of myself as me, right along side the trail worker.  

I am guilty of reinventing myself again and again but having Ruby helped my find my true self once and for all; trail girl, girly-girl, fashonista, mother, sister, faithful friend, whatever I wanted to be.  I always tell Ruby what is great about being a woman is that we can have it all.  We can be cute and tough, we say.  Ruby is tough and cute alright.  She's excelling in school, she skis, she climbs, she does trail work and stacks firewood and she does it all with contagious, girly cuteness.  Ruby loves her mama too.  We have a special bond as so many mothers and daughters do.  

Ruby is now nine years old, right about the same age I was when my grandmother was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  I think about this often as I prepare for Climb Against the Odds in honor of my grandmother.  I think about the connections I had at Ruby's age and what it meant to me as a child.  Connecting with Ruby has been an incredible experience.  She is my biggest supporter and most loyal friend.  Her love and affection have guided me as a mother and guides me now every day as I train for Mount Shasta.  In preparing for my climb, Ruby has encouraged me to embrace this experience in every way possible.  She knows what it is like to lose family, she has in her short life already. Ruby is protective of my emotions and wants to help me along my journey to Mount Shasta.  She pays attention to every detail and makes suggestions about how to share our story.  Whose idea do you think this post was? She's my girl alright.

Being a mother is such an honor, especially with a daughter like Ruby but it's not all easy.  We want to protect our children from the feelings that we had when we were young that scared us as my mother and grandmother for me, especially during my grandmother's battle with breast cancer.  We want our children to feel safe and happy and loved all the time.  Feeling safe in the care of my mother and grandmother are some of the most comforting memories from childhood for me.  Making children feel perfectly safe all the time however is not truly possible nor is it always the best course.  I try to help Ruby understand the things in life that are hard when she faces them and how to cope so she has the skills to do so on her own.  I am lucky to share this responsibility with Ruby's dad, who is the best father I could ever wish for her.  We are a team and a family and we love our little girl.  We are thrilled with the person she has become and she continues to surprise and delight us as her own amazing person.  Most of all, I am impressed with how fiercely loyal and caring Ruby is with her family.  That is a known trait on my mother's side of the family for certain and it is enlightening to see this trait come through my own daughter.  Ruby makes me feel hopeful and proud every day.  She comforts me in all she does and I know she will do well in this scary world.  I am so proud of her.  Of all the things in my life that I have to guide me, she is a true role model.  I was lucky at her age to have the love and company of the women in my family.  As an adult, I value the love and company of my own daughter and never anticipated the guidance she would provide for me. 

Ruby Rain, you are a true angel.  Grammy Tibbetts would have loved to see you grow into the strong, independent girl you are.  And I think she'd see some of herself in you.  I certainly do.